Wednesday, April 28, 2010

"How do you solve a problem like Maria'

unfortunately when, i think about any puzzle that i just don't know how to solve, the years of home schooling, bring out alot about my unknown character and how my days were spent with my mom watching her favorite musical, The sound of music.
There were Nazis, long socks, short shorts, the van trap family, as well as singing nuns. Quite interesting i know. ( watch it.. don't judge;)
The song that is especially stuck in my head today, is one that the nuns sing about a rebellious young nun named maria, who has not begun to grasp the discipline and life style of her nun hood. What to do?:)
This is my question. How to solve the jigsaw of rebellious middle schoolers who believe that the world is owed to them.
As i work with alot of middle schoolers for my gym class of course things are supposed to be a little more expressive, and or aggressive. But there is a difference between the setting of a class of chairs and a class room with room to run and be free. What is difficult, is that one, they are middle schoolers which is hard enough, two they are in two different kind of environments which I'm only going to name. Home, and shepherd.
At home they may not get attention, maybe neglect, maybe verbal abuse or even physical abuse or worse maybe a death in the family. Regardless, the home situation they are broken and very distracted bottom line, which is why we do what we do, examplify Christ love and guide them in his direction.
At shepherd they are taken care of very well, to some extent i will boldly say too much at times.
The issues is not that they are well taken care of.. What a blessing!! They are fed, clothed, and well educated. But when it comes down to it there starts to become an expectionan and or co-dependency of the catering, and constant pampering in their lives.
What i have run into is of course as many kids are learning, respect. Yet, as much as this is a learning process, it is no excuse to allow them to speak matter- a -factually to an adult. As if they will do what they want when they want, and as a mentor, teacher, adult, and most importantly an example continue to allow them to do and say what they please with out discipline they are regardless how taken care of are setting them selves on another road for failure. And any one who does not pay attention to it is helping them their.
Acts 17:11 says that God disciplines those he loves!
Well, dog gone it. i know for sure i love those kids like crazy, and if what it says in Acts is true, then i will go to my grave being certain that they knew that i cared more about their future than being cool with them.
Also, Many of the kids i work with over at Jireh, scare me, because they at risk now, and i fear for their futures. Many of them are soo full of anger and aggression with out discipline. I can sadly say if they don't learn the world of disciple will kill some one and or end up in prsion, and the problem is they might not even realize that what they did was so wrong, because no one stopped being cool with them long enough to set them in the path that they should go on.
So with the shepherd kids, i have set guidelines, rules, which are very simple and easy to follow. But....... Buttons are made to be pushed, i get that, I can relate, i did that growing up too. i might still :)
I have pulled individuals aside, i have had group I call it "team" discipline, and call it lectures about Their disrespect, i have docked grades, talked to supervisors, notes are sent home to parents. Yet their is no seriousness or budging on their behalf. I'm too stubborn to give up on them, i wont. Impossible, because i know how important consistence was in my life growing up. I will bring the tough love. they can trow what ever they want, but i will see seceding well discipled people some day when we meet again. That's my only option.
If God calls us his child, and Jesus says that if we are not like children in many of our ways we wont inherit heaven...So obviously Kids really do make a difference.
And course, we don't do any of this so we can take credit for whom the children have become. (That's stupid.) how many other people have been, are in, or will be in their lives to help them form their views, and understanding.
Yet tonight at jireh a teacher from one of the local schools stopped by to drop a student off, and as we started talking about the kids and discipline, i asked what i should do in this type of situation, and with alot of wisdom and experience simply told me "Consistency", "Never quit"
'It's what they want" no one give that to them, so you fight to be consistent in their life"!
ok,, well put:)
What i love about Urban ministry. people are blunt and don't beat around the words. they just tell it how it is:)
So how do i solve this problem, of course continue to pray for the students and for my self. But if no one else is willing to go with me, well, then i will be consistent discipline if i hate doing it.
I cant imagine how much God hates it when we are hurt confused, and made, because we are being deformed from our self's and conforming to himself.
But over all God is good, Ive seen more positive and real days than thee other so I'm greatful to learn discipline my self through this process! Crazy isn't it?:)
Be blessed and love some kids so much that you would be willing to stick with them and show how much you care about them by giving them order and structure for their future.
so with that word vomit thee end:)